DUCKFIGHTER ILLUSTRATED

In this Issue: So Cal Sweeps Evergreen State - Ducks survive Cardinal - 1960 Champs to be honored - Huskies are prime time, ready or not

Editors Note: Race Bannon was last seen heading into the Hollywood Hills with a starlet on each arm and enough booze to wait out a nuclear war. I guess we all react to defeat in our own way. We apologize for his absence and we turn to our Los Angeles correspondent for this week’s issue.

Troy wraps up fall camp, Bruins rebound from Disaster
Troy” Cubby” Wadsworth III

The City of Angels went out of its way to welcome the visitors from the Great Northwest to the Southland football double bill. Rain and wind greeted the visitors and helped them to feel at home as they laced it up for a little Pac 10 football.

The under card featured the battered Bruins of UCLA, who were reeling from a 44-6 loss to Utah, and the loss of 7 starters, including quarterback Ben “Mrs.” Olson. The confident Huskies were said to be much improved following a 2-1 start to the season. The Bruins were said to be in ruins as the coach and players spent the week getting roasted by the media and fans.

The results of the game could be used to show that praising defeat might not be the best way to prepare a team to go all out for victory. Moral victories be damned, and all that.

It was the Bruins who looked like they were playing for their lives and they also looked like they were playing for their embattled coach. The 3rd quarter lackluster performance of the Montlake Mutts was all too familiar for long suffering Husky fans. The Huskies were pretty much outplayed and out coached in every facet of the game when the chips were still being fought over.

Other than that, it was yet another solid effort in the rebuilding job at the U Dub. Someday they may rediscover the place of emotion in the game of football.

The Bruins now travel to Corvallis where the Beavers, adding to the angst that Husky fans are feeling, will kill them.

The main event was held at the venerable Coliseum on prime time network TV as the Trojans wrapped up fall camp with an impressive scrimmage against the WSU Vandals.

Pete Carroll explained, “Against Idaho we worked on our depth chart because we needed to give a great effort against the best team from that area. At the Nebraska scrimmage we worked on our running game, so we finished up by working on our passing game at the WSU scrimmage.”

“Now we are ready to put it all together as we open league play at Seattle against a much improved Husky team,” continued Carroll as he chuckled to himself at how easy it is to crush most of the opponents on the schedule.

“Hopefully it won’t come down to a fake field goal like it did for LSU against the Old Ball Coach and South Carolina.”

The Huskies are honoring the 1960 National Champions at the game that will be televised on ABC Saturday night. The Huskies will wear throw back jerseys that don’t have retarded numbers on them. The Trojans will look to rain on the parade and silence what should be a loud crowd at the old rust bucket by the lake.

Husky insiders hope that the players from that team, who are among the toughest men to ever wear the Purple and the Gold, might beat some of that old school toughness into our somnolent players and inspire them to an upset for the ages.

In honor of the 1960 team and because we don’t want Coach Baird to be alone:

PREDICTION: UW 34 - USC 0

---

Ducks v. Bears
Mallard N. Moore

When you set your DVR for the Oregon–Cal game at Autzen Stadium, add the three hours extra to make sure you get it all recorded. The defensively challenged squads will meet in a battle for second place in the Pac 10. This one could find both squads hitting 60 points, before the over time periods.

The Ducks are fresh off a big victory over the Stanford Cardinal, 55-31. There was some worry as the Cards scored those 31 points in a row to over come an early lead, but to the credit of the Fading Ducks of Oregon, the Mallard Crew bounced back to win going away.

“I’m proud of our defense,” sputtered an angry Mike Bellotti as he thought about Phil Knight wining and dining Jeff Tedford once again when the Genius comes to Eugene. “Anyone that can’t see the brilliance of our bend and break approach just isn’t as brilliant as I am when it comes to football.”

The Bears whipped up on Arizona but still surrendered 27 points of their own.

“I am an offensive genius,” noted Tedford as he read the invitation to dinner that he received from Phil Knight. “We hire people to take care of that defensive stuff.” It will be a battle of the Eugene Tree Huggers versus the Berkeley Tree Sitters and home tree advantage belongs to the Ducks. Look for the usual frenetic fast start for UO but for Cal to eventually work over the Duck D and win it in the end.

PREDICTION: Cal 66 - UO 63

---

The Rest: - Dennis Erickson led his ASU Sun Devils to a come from behind win over Dennis Erickson and his OSU Beavers…next up is a win over Stanford, one of the few teams that Dennis Erickson has yet to coach…As previously mentioned, the Beavers welcome UCLA to Corvallis…Arizona gets well as they welcome WSU and a victory to Tucson…Doba and Stoops will compare the temperature of their seats…Hot or really freaking hot?…Michigan beat Penn State as they climb out of the depths and into first place in the Big 10/11…Ohio State worked over Northwestern…Syracuse beat Louisville and Rich Brook’s Kentucky Wildcats won a thriller over Arkansas…Bama dropped an overtime heartbreaker to Georgia as Nick Saban denied any contact with Mark Emmert…Texas Tech passed for 650 yards ….. and lost…Notre Dame moved to 0-4 for the first time in the history of college football - and we aren’t talking since 1994 either…buckle up, Husky fans, the Trojans are coming and we’ll either see an upset for the ages or get blown out like you can’t believe…that’s why they play the game.

Thanks for Reading – Race